Talking turkey – or is it just fowl language?

One of the nice things about your spouse coming from a different culture is the funny little quirks they – and you – reveal when using the other’s language. When I met hubby he was already very fluent in English, having sailed on ships with a multitude of cultures where English was the common lingo. The Dutch are very keen on languages anyway, with all kids having to learn Dutch, English, German and French at school.
Still, everyday chatter requires a different level of fluency than a working environment. I’ll never forget the look on the face of my friend Marie (an American settling in Holland) when Holger told her that in Holland it was “important to get penetrated” as soon as possible. He meant to penetrate the system by registering to vote etc.
Then there was the time I was complaining about being too short to reach things in the top kitchen shelves. He assured me that he too could only reach things by “standing on the edges of the fingers on his feet”. He meant the tips of his toes!
I’m not immune to making faux pas myself of course, sometimes resulting in toe-curlingly embarrassing situations. There was the time when Holger and I were dating, and his mother was going to visit him in port when his ship docked Rotterdam. Because I couldn’t go I gave her a letter for him, addressed (I thought) “To my little hedgehog”, a private joke we had in reference to Holgers’ prickly whiskers. In fact what I wrote on the envelope, much to their amusement, was “To my little prick”. When I found out some weeks later I was so embarrassed I couldn’t look his mother in the eye for days, although she never referred to the incident and I’ve never had the courage to bring it up.
Alas, as we have both grown more fluent in each other’s language over the years the occurrence of funny mistakes has diminished. Until this week, when Holger produced a real gem. We were talking about how convenient is to have a regular babysitter on call. Fe, who cleans for us one day a week, also often babysits when we need someone. Speculating on how difficult it will be to adjust to life without her when we one day return home, he said: “It’s going to be cool chicken for you when we get back!”
What he meant of course was ‘cold turkey’, but on reflection I think I like his version better!