Places I'm Glad I Don't Live #2

Some of you may recall my earlier post which showed very clearly why I wouldn't want to live here . Today I've found a more than appropriate #2 location for what must be a very creepy place to live at the moment: parts of Australia. More specifically: Wagga Wagga, where localized flooding has apparently driven all the spiders to crowd into trees to escape the rising waters. The result is these incredibly scary looking trees...I seriously pity any birds who were nesting when this happened.

And if you really want to see another creepy spider posting, see this. 

Pointy Bit Up Please

Winter is fast approaching here in Cloggie land, although the unseasonably mild weather is giving us all a false sense of security about how bad the winter may be. One of these days we’re going to wake up to find the car is frozen to the driveway and I’ll have to chip my way in with a pickaxe, but in the meantime we’re practically basking in temperatures around 10-13 degrees C. However the short days mean it’s time to get out into the garden for a last rummage in the dirt, and in Holland, the land of tulips, that means it’s time to plant flower bulbs.
Now let me start by saying that although I enjoy gardening and getting a bit muddy, I can quite confidently say that I’m a fairly crap gardener. My plants don’t flourish; they limp along until a season changes enough for them to flop limply in relief at not having to pretend they will ever live up to the promieses on their labels. The soil around our house is awful – any topsoil was strip-mined and sold off by the developers – and the borders are characterized by either endless shade or desert-like over exposure to the sun.
However these factors haven’t deterred me from spending money on new plants like a pro, and hope, if not my garden, sprouts eternal. In this respect, bulbs are the perfect plants for me. You just chuck them in the ground, do nothing for a few months, and hey presto, you have flowers in the spring time.

I clearly remember the very first time I planted bulbs (yes really). It was back on our farm near Matamata, in the North Island of New Zealand. We had a fairly large fruit orchard next to the house, which my Dad had rigged with a lethally impressive electric fence system. Wires running along the base of the fruit trees were cunningly arranged at just the right height to allow the resident sheep to nibble the grass around the base, but not chew on the tree trunks. Over time the sheep actually learned to stand on their hind legs to reach the lower branches, and it wasn’t unusual to look out the window to the very odd sight of what appeared to be a flock of dancing sheep staggering around under the trees, snouts raised in the air. As an added bonus the electric fence also prevented possum damage. These beasties are a huge pest in New Zealand; having been imported from Australia years ago to a land with a mild climate and no predators the population has boomed to millions, and one possum will happily strip a fruit tree in a night. However if you were a wayward possum daring to cavort around our house at night, there was a very good chance the last thing you would ever see was my Dad, his Y-fronts glowing in the moonlight, squinting down the barrel of a .22 getting ready to change your mind manually.

I decided to brighten the orchard with daffodils. Having read that the best way to achieve a natural looking placement of bulbs was to literally toss them in handfuls over the area and plant them when they landed, I subsequently spent the next half hour cursing and trying to locate the bloody things again while avoiding the electric fences. Having done that, I pretty much sabotaged my chances of a bumper flower crop by planting them…upside down. For some reason it seemed logical that the pointy bit would stick downwards. With such a hopeless record of bulb planting, who could EVER have guessed I would end up with Dutch nationality??

What a screamer

Normally I am not a squeamish person. With the notable exception of cockroaches; after all it was an absolutely horrendous encounter with a monster cockroach which prompted me to start this blog as a cheaper alternative to therapy. But apart from that, spiders and bugs don’t generally freak me out. I still have a photo on my iPhone of a dead spider the boys and I spotted just before leaving Singapore and you have to admit, my naked toes are fearlessly close to its (admittedly dead) form.

However a couple of weeks ago I was rummaging around in the stationary stores at work with Jeanette, moving boxes of envelopes when I had a typically girlie hysterical over-reaction to an innocent spider. Jeanette was standing behind me and as I moved a box she shrieked “AAAAAHHH lookout-lookout-spider-spider-spider!!!!”
Assuming she was just scared of spiders I carried on with a calm “Really, where…”
When suddenly the UBER-SPIDER FROM HELL scuttled across the lid of the box just centimeters from my hand. This behemoth had clearly spent the winter devouring every other spider and insect in the building, had finished off the mice and was now moving human flesh to the top of its menu. Of course I screamed…then Jeanette screamed again….which made me jump and scream even louder…!”
This could have gone on all day but fortunately we realized we were now standing on the other side of the room clutching each other in panic. Two professional women standing in the basement of their workplace shrieking like children at a bug. We cracked up laughing, not only at the silliness of it all but the fact that not a single colleague popped their head out to see who was being murdered in the stationary cupboard. I went back to my office feeling quite silly.

But I am never sticking my hand in that cupboard again...

Upper Peirce Reservoir

Recently we discovered a great little get-away-from-most-of-it place to take the family, go for a peaceful walk or cycle, or enjoy a picnic. It's called the Upper Peirce Reservoir, and the access is off the Old Upper Thompson Road, or as we like to call it; The Monkey Road. Bordering the MacRitchie reservoir there are LOADS of monkeys in the area and you often see people feeding them from their cars, sometimes even while they are parked in front of the huge brightly coloured billbaords which say DON'T FEED THE MONKEYS. Go figure.

Anyway I digress. I've been wanting to take the kids and hubby for a picnic to the reservoir ever since Mum and I discoverd it more or less by accident while I was taking her monkey spotting during her last visit. Yesterday was fine and sunny and we had no big plans so it was the perfect opportunity. I packed up some bagels stuffed with ham and salad and lots of juice and stuff into our big chilly bin (cool box), we chucked everything in the car and off we went.

Being Sunday I had expectd the place to be heaving with people but actually it was very quiet, and in some places we were the only ones there. Heaven, on a small and densely populated island like Singapore.

The reservoir was created in 1975 when the Kalang River was dammed to create a large catchment basin to supply some of the populations water need. Bordered by rainforest on all sides, the area is a wildlife haven and very peaceful. Apparently it's a great spot for eagle watching although we didn't see any yesterday; in fact I've seen more eagles and other bird life while floating on my back in the swiming pool, but it was probably just the wrong time of day. There were unfortunately a couple of packs of wild dogs hanging around - you see these occasionally in Singapore and it makes me nervous having the kids with me. While we haven't heard of people being attacked by them I've read enough news stories of children being mauled by pet dogs in New Zealand to be nervous of wild ones roaming around. Of course there are also lots of monkeys which are not a problem as long as you don't leave any of your gear unattended: they may not eat your shoes but that doesn't mean they won't carry them away or use them as a toilet!

Looking out across the reservoir itself you can see the Buki Timah Nature Reserve on the far shore and, helpfully singposted with two huge communication masts, Bukit Timah Hill. This is the highest point in all of Singapore at 164 metres. You can see it behind Niels in the photo above, amost over his right shoulder.

The side of the dam is grassed and descends very steeply down quite a distance before levelling out to a perfectly flat open grassed area, which edges the Lower Pierce Reservoir. It's perfect for kicking around a ball or letting the kids run wild. Niels loved running down the slope, screaming "My brakes are on fire!!!!" (see the last photo).

Although we didn't notice it on this trip, there is a 900m boardwalk through the forest from the Lower Pierce Reservoir through mature secondary forest, whcih is part of the central catchment area and covers 2000 hectares of primary and secondary rain forest. And you all thought that Singapore was just a city!

Being Singapore they have thoughtfully provided clean toilets and hand washing facilities, loads of picnic tables, seating, and rain shelters. It's a great place to visit and I recommend it highly, especially if you've got kids who need to let off steam. Even if their brakes do catch fire!

Monkey Business

I've mentioned the monkey population here in Singapore before, but we recently recevied this newspaper article (although it dates from February the situation hasn't changed). Most people think that monkeys are cute and cuddly but frankly, they've never appealed to me. Maybe it's those sharp little teeth, or the long snake-like tail, or perhaps it's their resemblence to humans that puts me off. Anyway they aren't my thing and having read this article, you might feel a bit more the same...
Click on the article for a larger (readable) version.

More Wildlife

As you all know the subject of wildlife is one that occupies much of my time here – most notably praying I never come across another cockroach (yes there really has been only one) and chasing geckos around the house trying to catch them. However there is a lot of wildlife here that we see which some of you may not be aware off.
Monkeys are abundant in Singapore – not around our condominum thankfully but there are plenty in wooded areas such as around the Dutch school, and the route Holger takes to work goes through an area bordering a nature reserve which is full of them. Now I know that monkeys are quite cute and clever etc etc but to be honest I’ve never really liked them. OK from a distance, but if I never have to get closer than 10 metres to one for the rest of my life then I’d be quite happy with that. For a start, they bite, are territorial, make an awful noise and I suspect they quite calculatingly combine their toilet routines with warfare. Any animal that considers poo to be a valid weapon of deterrence is low on the list of creatures to be loved in my books.
Another interesting local creature which I also plan to keep a healthy distance from is the crocodile. Now until last week I didn’t even know we had crocs here. Before you get worried, no we didn’t find out the hard way while swimming at Sentosa. Hubby came home from work one night and said “guess what I saw at work today!” Apparently he looked over the side of the ship and saw a 3-4 metre crocodile swimming past! Still, I wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t kidding until last weekend when we took the kids to Sungei Buloh wetland reserve for a walk. The photo on the left was taken from oneof the 'hides' which you can climb up to enjoy the view. In the foreground are some of the park's mudflats, in the background you can see the city of Johor in Malaysia, just over the Johor Strait. (This photo illustrates well how close Singapore and Malaysia are, you can almost wave to people over the border!) The reserve is full of mangroves and mudflats and…signs to watch out for the crocodiles. Also handy tips on what to do if you encounter one lying on the path (“don’t step over it”….duh!). Unfortunately despite an hour of intensive croc hunting we didn’t spot a single one. Better luck next time I guess. Mind you we did keep a close eye on the kids - can't you just imagine a croc leaping out of the mangroves to grab Niels as he posed for this photo!

Our Uninvited Guests

When it comes to household pests, I am the first to run for the can of bug killer at the mere mention of a cockroach or mosquito. However there are some “uninvited guests” whom I am willing to put up with and even enjoy. The local gecko is one such example. The local name for them is pronounced chi-chak, (note: the correct spelling starts with “tj” and goes down hill from there so I’m sticking to my version, and it’s pronounced “chee chuck”). These cute little reptiles seem to grow to about 15 cm in length, but most of the ones we see inside are 7-10cm. They are found in every house over here and are completely harmless.
Chi-chaks are fairly flat, with a soft pinky-brown skin and big suckers on their toes which allow them to shoot vertically up walls without a problem. Their enormous dark eyes enable them to find insects easily but also give them a really cute, ET-phone-home kind of expression. I think they come in here when I open up the windows in the mornings, although I’ve also seen them slip under the back door, through a space that must be only 4-5mm high.
I can’t imagine that they could survive inside for long; between the air conditioning and the lack of insects the odds are seriously stacked against them, so hubby and I always try to catch them and release them outside. Now this is actually incredibly difficult – these little guys can move so fast, often you don’t even know which direction they have run in! It’s like something out of a cartoon; one moment they're there, the next they are gone. To make matters worse you have to treat them gently because they are soft and squishy (yes I’ve stood on one), and if they are convinced that you really are going to catch and eat them, their tails drop off as a last-ditch effort to escape.
One memorable – in a fuzzy kind of way – evening Holger and I returned home from his work Christmas party to a quiet house. Mieke and Jan Willem were visiting at the time so they had babysat and as we crept in we saw a chi chak shoot under one of the couches. Being more than slightly inebriated obviously the only logical action was to try to catch it RIGHT THEN. So we spent the next 15 minutes stumbling round giggling and trying to corner the poor thing while not waking anybody up. I don’t know how we managed it, at one stage we were both flat on our faces under a couch - God knows what Mieke would have thought it she’d walked out to see only our feet sticking out – but I’m happy to say that we did catch the chi-chak without causing it mortal harm - the alcohol fumes had probably aneathesised it anyway - and it was released onto the balcony.
Anyway, a couple of days ago I was in our bathroom when something went shooting past my head. That woke me up, I can tell you. Turns out there was a chi-chak inside the glass shower – don’t ask me how he managed that – so I grabbed a plastic container and caught him. Just before I released him I thought to grab a photo to show you what they are like, and to warn you that if you visit, you may have to share your bathroom with this guy.

Uninvited passenger

Today I want to share with you a very strange little story which appeared in The Straits Times, the highly respected national paper. They have a regular section where they print small items sent in by readers, accompanied by a photo they send over their mobile phone. Left is the photo that appeared with the story, which I have nicked off the columns site (http://www.stomp.com.sg)

“Uninvited python-ger?
Look what the rains brought in – not just flash floods, as Mr Toh Kok Send discovered, but a 2m long python.
The 42 year-old lawyer was shocked when he got an afternoon call from the building management team at Capital Tower last Thursday, telling him the snake was coiled beneath his car.
Although no one actually saw the snake emerge from the car, the management was sure it came from within.
“They joked that the python could not have taken the lift up to the seventh story,” said Mr Toh.
Over the past few days, he had heard strange noises from inside the car, and even stopped once to check underneath, but found nothing.
“Now I wonder if I’ve been ferrying an additional passenger these few days,” he said.
The snake was handed over to a pest control company. It is quite common to find snakes in car engines, particularly during the rainy weather said Mr Felix Tan, director of pest control company Alliance Pest Management."

Ummmm….hang on. Did they say this kind of thing is common?? I can guarantee you that if I ever hear a strange noise coming from under my car, I won’t be the one sticking my head under there to see what’s going on!

Getting To Grips With The Lingo

Last weekend, my Dad's partner Maureen was looking after Carl while I got my left eye lasered and Dad took Niels to his swimming lesson.
The best way to keep our kids entertained is to chuck them in the swimming pool for an hour or so, which she did until Carl got sick of that and wanted to go back upstairs. Because Dad had left with the only house key they had to wait for his return before getting back inside, so they sat chatting beside the pool.
Peering underneath the brick barbeque, Carl pointed and yelled “A snake!”
One can only imagine what effect this had on Maureen who had up until that point probably been quite relaxed in the warm sunshine, but suffice to say she was no doubt hugely relieved to point out that no, it wasn’t a snake, it was “a piece steel” which was part of the barbeque frame.
“Oh” replied Carl, his standard answer to any new piece of information while it’s being assimilated into his memory chip. Shortly afterwards he got bored with sitting by the pool so they moved to a seat on the low wall by the fountain out front, where Carl could wave enthusiastically to Mark (the security guard) and watch people coming and going. In due time a workman walked past with a large crowbar over one shoulder.
“That’s a big crowbar” said Maureen, “I wonder what he’s going to jimmy with that?”
To which Carl replied scornfully “That’s not a crow bar, that’s steel…just like the snake”.

Ohmigod...it's a SNAKE!

Yes it finally happened. While out exploring park with the kids, Dad and Maureen we came across our very first snake. Now I have known for some time that there are snakes living in Singapore but was quite happy never to have actually met any face-to-face. There we were, walking past a brick wall in Labrador Park, when Niels casually said “hey, there’s a snake”. There with its head nestled in a drainage pipe its tail hanging out was a very beautiful black and white patterned snake. It had a yellow pattern on its head and was about 1 metre long, but quite thin - about as thick as a man’s thumb I guess. Obviously possessing a great sense of occasion it obligingly uncurled itself and gracefully slid vertically up the wall, giving us plenty of time to admire it and take photos. So behold, our first serpent encounter.
This will be my last entry for a while as we are flying to Holland tonight for Christmas. We’ll be back in the New Year, no doubt hanging out for sunshine and well stuffed with yummy Dutch Xmas goodies.
Have a great festive season everyone, I’ll be in touch in 2007!

Revenge Is Sweet...But Kinda Toxic

OK, so I have returned to a more rational state after my encounter with The Mother of All Cockroaches. After making sure the culprit was really dead, I dragged the corpse out from behind the fridge, secured it in a plastic bag, then disposed of the body in the refuse chute. I'm sure the janitor will see it land in the refuse container - having looked up to see what the dull thuds were as it clanged its way down six floors - and he will shake his head and give a low whistle at the sheer scale of the disgusting beast.
Holger has thoughtfully rung twice to make sure I have calmed down. Poor guy, apparently when I called him my first words were "something terrible just happened" and he immediately assumed something had happened to one of the kids. Every parents worst nightmare and if I'd been a bit more sensible I would never have started off like that and given him such a fright. The darling has promised to look in all the scarey dark nooks and crannies where any more roaches could be hiding when he gets home and to strategically place the traps I bought from the supermarket.
In the meantime I've sprayed outside all around the doors with a Super Nuke 'Em and Kill Everything spray which promises to kill roaches for up to three months. The kids aren't allowed out onto the landing because we're always afraid that Carl will try to climb up onto the balcony railing to peer over the side and...well you can imagine the rest. So for now the only thing apart from roaches at risk from my chemical warfare is the paintwork which has bubbled alarmingly over the last hour. I really hope it doesn't peel because that would be pretty hard to explain to the landlord.
Having worked on ships all of his professional life Holger thinks it's hilarious that I am slightly phobic about roaches, and seems to be quite amused by the whole scenario and not at all phased by me finding one in the very place where we prepare our food. I have become something like the slightly mad relative who you invite over at Christmas to keep everyone entertained with their nutty behaviour.
I've been reduced to entertainment value and have only myself to blame. And one Mother of a roach.

The Devil Has Six Legs

Hi folks,
We've been living in Singapore for a month now and I thought it was time to give you all a general update.
By now we've all more or less acclimatised to the weather. In the mornings once the kids are off to school and Holger has gone to work I turn off the air co, open the windows to try and catch a breeze and the air co doesn't usually go on again until around dinner time. Of course we still feel the heat if we are outside, but then so do the locals - Holger takes a perverse pleasure in pointing out locals who are also dripping in sweat when it's really hot and humid outside - I guesss it makes him feel less of an outsider to know that we aren't the only ones finding it hot!
Carl seems to feel the heat a bit more than Niels, although with his fair colouring (just as 'strawberries and cream' as the day we arrived) it's not surprising. Niels has tanned to a deep brown all over now thanks to the hours he spends in the swimming pool and playing outside at school. Only his little bum is still white when he jumps in the shower at night!
I am trying to be healthy(er) by swimming for half an hour most days and I'm definitely fitter. On the days Carl goes to pre-school on the bus with Niels I'm in the pool by 7.50 which is great, just me and the birds and the sun still to come up over the trees. It's a lovely peaceful way to start the day.
We continue to be amazed by the wildlife - although there isn't that much in our central city location what we do see is fascinating. The large gardens bordering one side of our condo are a haven for all sorts of living things, not all of them cute and furry. I was heading off to catch a taxi with the boys in the weekend and by the fountain at the lobby entrance we spotted an ENORMOUS locust sunning himself. No wonder they say those things can be roasted and eaten, there must be as much protein as a KFC Hotwing on one of those suckers. It had vibrant yellow splotches on a glossy black background and the Carl especially couldn't believe what he was seeing. There are a few squirrels leaping around in the trees outside and judging by the noise at times some frogs as well. However the most infamous and numerous of Singapores wild creatures had remained thankfully absent...until today.

This morning is the first time Nancy, our new cleaner, came to work for us. She cleans for a French couple upstairs and was recommended to us by Sedu, the friendly Indian ex-police security guard at the condo next door who knows everything about everybody here. He and I usually chat while I'm waiting for the school bus in the afternoons and he is a wealth of information about everything from the best parks to visit, to the shops to stay away from to avoid being ripped off as a foreigner - graphically demonstrated by drawing his finger across his neck to illustrate how ruthless they are! He is also full of interesting tid-bits about the residents of both our condo and next door's, and gave me Nancy's phone number to arrange for her to come and work for us.
So this morning I was tidying up before she got here and had just finished when there was a knock on the back door and there she was. We met last week already to get to know each other so I told her to come in, we started chatting and because my hands were wet I grabbed the tea towel which was hanging on the oven door. Something HUGE and dark coloured flicked off the cloth, collided into my arm and then hit the ground and honest to God I saw the worlds biggest ugliest cockroach anyone has ever seen. How something that big could move so fast is beyond me but in the blink of an eye it had shot across the kitchen - narrowly avoiding Nancy's feet - and disappeared under the fridge. Of course I did what any sane person would do and SCREAMED. Nancy just looked at me and asked in her gentle calm voice "where's the bug spray?" Using the two functioning brain cells I had that hadn't seized up into panic mode I remembered a big can of industrial looking insect spray that fortuitously was in the apartment when we moved in and thrust it into her hands. She calmy set about nuking THE ROACH FROM HELL from various angles as it tried to scuttle away while I stood there ready to leap up onto the bench if it should head my way and wondering if it would be rude to just flee the property and let her deal with it.
The thing is I am not normally a squeamish person. I have kept rats and eels and Axolotyls as pets, I've patted snacks and possums and don't mind catching spiders and lizards to release them outside. But there is something so abhorrent about cockroaches - even though they don't bite or sting, just the disgusting hunchback shape of them and their scuttly crawly legs, those quivering antennae and the horror stories people love to tell about how if you squash them a million fertilised eggs will burst out and how they will be the only living things to survive a nuclear war...it all just adds up to make them my No.1 pet hate. The devil has six legs and a shiny brown shell.
As I am writing this (at the other end of the apartment with my feet up on my chair) I can hear Nancy cleaning in the kitchen and can only hope that:
a. She doesn't think we are disgusting filthy people who live with cockroaches. After all, given the size of the bug I woudn't be surprised if someone came and painted a cross on our door with the word 'unclean' scrawled in red underneath;
and b. She doesn't think I am a complete head case.
When I rang Holger at work to tell him he thought it was funny, at least until he heard how upset I was. He reassured me that there are cockroaches everywhere in the tropics (which I know is true), that if we really were being invaded or facing a major infestation we would have seen more of them, and that of course we can expect to get the occasional one (which I know is also true). However I am a long way from seeing this as funny, especially since one of the reasons we choose this apartment is that it's fairly new at just two years old and therefore in theory cockroach free.
Anyway, I'm off to the supermarket to buy some traps and sprays and anything else I can find to kill bugs. I'll post again when I'm in a more rational state of mind.

Cheers,Joanne